I Love You Ah-Ma

My grandmother passed away yesterday. All of 88 years old. The last time I saw her was exactly a year ago, at an old folk's home in Ipoh. She was no longer lucid, and caring for her required professional assistance. All that remained was her instinct to love her loved ones, and to defend herself. While she could only muster an uncertain though caring smile for any family member, any nurse that got near her incurred her wary wrath in the form of a stinging pinch. Feeble as she may seemed then, but one could see plenty of skin agonizing in the grip of her thumb and index finger. Her alertness and reflex towards the nurses did not wane for two whole days. In the end, she had to be brought back to an aunt's home to be supervised by a live-in nurse.
So caught up was I with my life, I did not pay her a visit since, merely enquring about her well-being through my parents. Then mom called, telling me the news in between her sobs. Mom was most fond of ah-ma for being a non-imposing mother-in-law. Gathering my siblings, we made the trip back to Teluk Intan. It was great fun bonding during the 3 hour drive, reminiscing our experiences with our father's mother.

To many visitors and well-wishers, it could have been confusing arriving at my aunt's house where ah-ma (grandma in Hokkien) was laid in rest. The first sight was a significant number of telekung-clad ladies milling about. Then the boisterous greetings and chatter were peppered with equal amounts of English, Malay, Tamil, Hokkien, Cantonese and Hakka. But yes, they were at the right wake. That's the family that my ah-ma raised, a true Malaysian smörgåsbord. It was organized chaos, four generations in all. Isn't it ironic how a death in the family brings more relatives together than weddings and births? Still, it was such joy to get together, to catch up and renew the ties that bond us. Ah-ma had apparently mused some years ago, that she wished for her funeral to be a warm affair and not the sombre occasions of which she had attended plenty. She got her wish. Though her clan is in sorrow at her passing, we were joyful for the kindship reaffirmed.

Ah-ma had the Holy Bible held to her chest. It was the Chinese version, so I had to ask an aunt which verse it was opened to. It was Psalm 23:

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever

Ah-ma had many prayers dedicated to her by all her kin who practice different beliefs. I believe she is truly at peace now. I feel her love still.